Memories have no power.

Have you ever feel like you want to forget something or turn back the time? Sure all of us have regrets in our life, right? But what if you can choose; what will it be between having all the bad memories to be gone with the best memories or keeping both? Having to remember the hard time sure is torturing but isn’t forgetting the happiness hurts more? What will change if we can erase them all? Will our future be any different? And if it will, then will it be better? It wasn’t the memories and the past that will lead you to a better future but the present. Regretful past made us forget our best time, so instead, remember only the cherish time so the dark memories will slowly disappear.
Just because you have the memories and the past, it doesn’t mean that you can still have what is used to be yours; it only means that you have to move on.

-DREAM HIGH 2 END-

Your birthday comes only once a year.

Hey you! This post is especially dedicated for the sweetest, clumsiest, cutest, and joyah-est girl on Earth! Dear Nadia Syamin, thank you for being born. It was about a week after we were enrolled in UiTM Puncak Alam. You were late and a friend of yours reserved a seat for you. I sat on the empty seat beside. When you came, the class almost started (typical Nadia since the beginning, pfft.) And then you asked me out of nowhere to accompany you to the office due to some email issues. Starting from that moment, we became closer and I don’t remember what happen until then. I can’t remember what we did until we became this close.

All I want to say is that thank you again for approaching me that day. My life has become brighter there since I met you. Because of you, we got closer to Asyafiqa and Jijiel as well since you were the one suggesting forming a group with the four of us during Biology Lab. Because of you, Aimang asked all four of us to teach him Mathematics (but Jijiel was the one doing all the teaching) and brought Adae along. Because of you, KELING was formed. Because of you, we were happy until our last day and even until now, we were still together; the six of us.

I used to wait for you before going to class (even when I thought it will take forever pfft) and scolding on how late you were on our way but somehow, I miss those moments. It might be hard to find someone like you again. Yeah, I kindda miss you. This post has been too long already. All in all, I miss you and Saranghae! Until we meet again. Stay happy and wake up early okay! Take care :) 

I knew this feeling.

 

It’s weird thou, I thought I’ve lost my interest towards Nam Woohyun; I thought I really am falling for Song Samdong, but then Kim Joowon appeared and I couldn’t stop thinking of him; and now, Shin Woohyun! I was watching Hi School Love On and I’m falling in love again T_T I don’t know for how many times I’ve been falling and I don’t even know what’s real and what am I playing with my mind. Frankly, I’m afraid if I ever turn my back on Infinite; I’m afraid if I move on; I’m afraid if I’m no longer an Inspirit. But today, my heart was beating again; just like the first time I fell in love with Infinite; it was beating so fast and that moment, I knew, that I still love you; as much as I did when I first saw you.

They said that love might change, well, I did waver for a moment, but I won’t change. So, please keep appearing in front of me so I’ll stay.

This love that came like the wind.

SECRET GARDEN. DREAM HIGH. THAT WINTER THE WIND BLOWS. COFFEE PRINCE. MY LOVE FROM THE STAR. THE INNOCENT MAN. DOCTOR STRANGER. TROT LOVERS. DREAM HIGH 2. YOU ARE SURROUNDED.

 

10 Dramas for a month I think; since I quit my job. So yeah, 10 awesome dramas and I'm happy. If Kim Myungsoo learnt about love through manga, then I learnt through dramas >.<

Kim Joo Won; who dumbly throw everything even his life just so that the person can live in his body instead (It’s selfish but Hyunbin is really cute tbh)

Song Sam Dong; who didn’t give up until the end even after losing his hearing and keep chasing his dream (Kim Soohyun is the cutest when talking in Satoori)

Oh Soo; who pretended to be the fake brother for money but then fell in love with his fake sister and found his reason to live (the way Jo Insung walks; i mean, like a model)

Choi Han Kyung; who didn’t even care whether she’s a man or an alien and want to go as far as he could (how can Gong Yoo looks so cute when he smiles? I mean, he’s already too old)

Do Min Jun; who didn’t go to the star and choose to stay on Earth even he’s been waiting for 400 years to go back (Yah Kim Soohyun! You’re really a handsome alien)

Kang Maru; who took the blame for what he didn’t do and discover that it wasn’t love but a foolish act (I never knew Song Joongki was this cute)

Park Hoon;who grew up killing people but ended up being the most thoughtful doctor because doctor save people (Lee Jongsuk was my first actor bias actually)

Jang Junhyeon; who fell to the rock bottom and finally got up and chose to disappear for a moment (I can’t remember his real name thou; Jin Hyunwoo)

Jin Yujin; who chose the right thing that he wanted to do with his life and not being a training dog (Jung Jinwoon’s voice is something, really)

Eun Dae Goo; who once wanted revenge and finally found the truth and pretending to kill himself in order to kill the murder (It was the first time I noticed how cute Lee Seunggi is)

So, I’ve spent my whole holiday with these dramas; finishing them within two days and longing for a while before starting a new one.  The best one out of these dramas is ofc the first one I wrote about, because I’m still in love with Kim Joo won; SECRET GARDEN.

 

No matter what happens, trust me and don’t stop.

 

Hi. It’s been a while and I miss writing a lot! There are so many things I want to write about but I haven’t had much time lately. So, I’ve just finished reading this Fixi, ‘Awan’. First of all, I would like to thank Syafiq Aizat for his awesome writing. The messages were very deep and I cried! So congratulations for making this girl cry while reading your piece. It was superb and it hurts a lot because I was jealous of the friendship. When I close my eyes, I just realized that I don’t really have vivid memories of friendship while in school; like the only person that you just want to share everything until forever. But I’m happy enough with the memories I have and I’m trying to be a better person. For some reason, or no reason at all, I have been really selfish and I didn’t treasure the true meaning of friendship. It might be late to realize because school days were the best days of our life; they day we knew the meaning of friendship but I missed that. But it’s never too late for anything; right? Without darkness, you can’t see the stars.

Thank you, Syafiq Aizat, for lending me these two awesome guys; Izaq and Fa’iq :)

Just like Diamonds

Just the moment when we were happy enough to smile for the simplest things in life. Thank you for the memories, thank you for being there and thank you for being you :)



I know, nothing lasts forever

Hey. It’s been a while. Apparently, today I won’t be writing about Eid but about reasons and dream instead. I’ve been spending a while watching this drama called ‘Dream High’. Thou it was an old drama, I just started watching it because of Kim Soohyun. I finished watching the whole drama at 5.30 A.M. last night and went to sleep just after that. That’s how obsessed I am when it comes to drama; and that’s how much I love it.

Right now, I admit, I’m in love with a character in the drama and not a real person. Song Sam Dong, I don’t really know what I like about this guy, he’s dumb and naïve and spoke in Satoori (dialect) and probably those are the reasons why I like him a lot; someone who’s simply just dumb and smiles a lot. Do Min Jun, yes he’s a character played by Kim Soohyun as well but why don’t I get the same feeling? Do Min Jun rarely smiles and he’s smart. So now, I just figured why I like a person, I like someone who’s dangerously dumb and smiles a lot no matter what’s going on.

Dream? I’m not even sure about my dream yet. Well, I have this one foolish dream but I don’t know how I’m going to approach my dream. I think, for me to archive this dream, I need to have another clear goal.

Why am I like this? I realized something after watching drama. If Kim Myungsoo can say that he only learns about love through manga, then I can say that I learnt about life and love through drama. Drama gave me a break in life, to just stop thinking for a while and walk in to someone else’s life. Before, I kept on being too clingy and I depended on a person too much. Infinite actually walk me out of it. To just have my own world, even a virtual world, I was happy; in fact, I’m happy now. I don’t have to take care of others’ heart; and I don’t have to take care of my own heart.

-DREAM HIGH END-

The weak gets devoured.

 

Annyeong! It’s been a while since the last time I’ve wrote here. I’ve been busy with works and stuffs. But I haven’t share about my working experiences yet. So here I go. From the first day, well, it wasn’t hard but it wasn’t easy either. There’s this women who works there as well and she told me a lot about our bosses who apparently are stingy, greedy and cunning. So I went home with a thought of how bad my bosses are (they’re husband and wife).

After a few months passed, I thought, ahhh my bosses aren’t that bad, that women always talks behind peoples' back; she even talked about me and the others. It was hurtful at first but I got used to it. She’s in her 40s by the way. So what I’ve learnt is that the older you get, actually, you got worse (?).

So why did I quit? So here’s the story. My bosses are bad! Since they have their own brand; they made their own clothes and the tailors are just youngster; they’re the same age as me. They’ve signed a contract saying that in June, their basic salary would be RM1000 but for their June salary, they just got RM500 as their basic salary and when they asked the boss about this, she said that they got the contract wrong (she didn’t give any copies to them). So they decided to just quit but the boss threaten to sue them and everything but I said just quit, they can’t sue a minor, I mean, aren’t you ashamed of yourselves for suing young kids? I'm really pissed off, I don't want to live in such life.

I took a day off few days ago as I need to settle some things. The boss sent a message on our group chatroom saying that an employer shouldn’t just take a day off freely as they wish and bla bla bla so I thought I should just quit since I couldn’t give full commitment. All in all, it's just that we're like a slave to our bosses; they can just do whatever they want without even considering others. It was a really long story actually but I just cut it off. This is already too long >.<

Tho someday your name might become strange

...my heart will always remember our memories together.

That cherished moment when everyone was online at the same time. The six of us, even we’re far apart, there is one thing that kept us strong together; ourselves. Exactly at 22:06, all of us send our text simultaneously. Thou it was just a simple “hahaha” written, we were also laughing while typing it. We were sincere; we were having fun; we were happy. That is how much we’re important to each other; we made each other smile even for the smallest thing.

The friends at my side are just like stars which shine on me who’s in darkness. I will also be the star who will shine on someone; forever there.

Present. In English, it has two meanings: a gift, and also the current moment. It may be that the most precious gift to us is the present, the time in front of us now. True, we may always be bickering with each other, but we leaned on each other and were happy together.

Help me, I'm Trapped.

 

Have you ever had this feeling; it was like you fell for someone for some time but then you want to forget that person so you let yourself fell for someone else but when you did, you suddenly fell for the first person again (okay this sound so Keling) but I don’t really know how to explain it. I don’t even know what this feeling is; do I like that person? Do I adore that person? Am I falling in love? Seriously, I never really understand my own feeling. Even if you ask me; why do you like Infinite so much? There are lots of answers I can think of; they’re handsome, their voices are awesome, they way they treat their fans, their hardship, their humbleness, their dumbness, their fashion sense, their attitude; everything about them I like, but the most perfect answer for that question is ‘I don’t know’.

It just happened; I just happen to like that person without even knowing why. People said it’s impossible to like someone when you barely know that person. Yeah, it’s true. So that’s why I don’t know the reason for liking that person; I don’t even know whether I really like that person or not.

When your heart doesn’t tell you the truth, the pain will tell you the answer.