"Show me your scar, so that I can love you more"
Did you know that? Lately, we got
extremely close to each other. We just got really comfortable. You started to
open up about things you don’t usually tell others, and so did I. We started
talking about our family, and ourselves. Then you started showing me this new
side of you, which I’ve never seen or thought of before; your scar. You started
showing me more of yourself, and I’m amazed by you more.
You know what makes my heart
flutter? When you started using ‘us’, when you put ‘us’ as an example in the
situation. As if, you’re considering if ‘us’ is actually possible.
Then I started asking you this,
“Kau rasa, ada tak benda yang kau
tak pernah cerita dekat orang lain sebelum ni, tapi kau cerita dekat aku?”,
then you paused for a moment.
“Haah. Ada lah, macam pasal
family aku, aku tak pernah pun cerita dekat sesape”
“Kau rasa kenapa?”
“Hmm, sebab aku rasa takde orang
nak tahu pun? Dan sebab aku rasa kau takkan cerita dekat orang lain pun”
“Sebab aku trust kau dulu”
“Haah. Trust. Betul lah apa kau
cakap”
Yeah, trust is such a big word, I
know. For someone with trust issues like you, who kept pushing people away,
trusting someone is probably really hard right? At first, I was glad that I’m
able to open you up. But know I’m kindda scared. What if I ended up hurting you
too? What if I stepped over the line? I’m trying my best not to, but I’m still
a human. If I got too close and made you uncomfortable, please tell me so. I don’t
want to hurt you.
But there’s one thing I’m sure
that you’re different from him. He doesn’t want anyone to get too deep into his
life, while you just haven’t found the person to listen to you. I’m here, I’ll
listen to you, and I’ll be there for you. I’m trying to, at least.
And thank you. Usually, I would go to you. But yesterday, you came to me. Thank you for letting me in.
