No matter what happens, trust me and don’t stop.

 

Hi. It’s been a while and I miss writing a lot! There are so many things I want to write about but I haven’t had much time lately. So, I’ve just finished reading this Fixi, ‘Awan’. First of all, I would like to thank Syafiq Aizat for his awesome writing. The messages were very deep and I cried! So congratulations for making this girl cry while reading your piece. It was superb and it hurts a lot because I was jealous of the friendship. When I close my eyes, I just realized that I don’t really have vivid memories of friendship while in school; like the only person that you just want to share everything until forever. But I’m happy enough with the memories I have and I’m trying to be a better person. For some reason, or no reason at all, I have been really selfish and I didn’t treasure the true meaning of friendship. It might be late to realize because school days were the best days of our life; they day we knew the meaning of friendship but I missed that. But it’s never too late for anything; right? Without darkness, you can’t see the stars.

Thank you, Syafiq Aizat, for lending me these two awesome guys; Izaq and Fa’iq :)

Just like Diamonds

Just the moment when we were happy enough to smile for the simplest things in life. Thank you for the memories, thank you for being there and thank you for being you :)



I know, nothing lasts forever

Hey. It’s been a while. Apparently, today I won’t be writing about Eid but about reasons and dream instead. I’ve been spending a while watching this drama called ‘Dream High’. Thou it was an old drama, I just started watching it because of Kim Soohyun. I finished watching the whole drama at 5.30 A.M. last night and went to sleep just after that. That’s how obsessed I am when it comes to drama; and that’s how much I love it.

Right now, I admit, I’m in love with a character in the drama and not a real person. Song Sam Dong, I don’t really know what I like about this guy, he’s dumb and naïve and spoke in Satoori (dialect) and probably those are the reasons why I like him a lot; someone who’s simply just dumb and smiles a lot. Do Min Jun, yes he’s a character played by Kim Soohyun as well but why don’t I get the same feeling? Do Min Jun rarely smiles and he’s smart. So now, I just figured why I like a person, I like someone who’s dangerously dumb and smiles a lot no matter what’s going on.

Dream? I’m not even sure about my dream yet. Well, I have this one foolish dream but I don’t know how I’m going to approach my dream. I think, for me to archive this dream, I need to have another clear goal.

Why am I like this? I realized something after watching drama. If Kim Myungsoo can say that he only learns about love through manga, then I can say that I learnt about life and love through drama. Drama gave me a break in life, to just stop thinking for a while and walk in to someone else’s life. Before, I kept on being too clingy and I depended on a person too much. Infinite actually walk me out of it. To just have my own world, even a virtual world, I was happy; in fact, I’m happy now. I don’t have to take care of others’ heart; and I don’t have to take care of my own heart.

-DREAM HIGH END-

The weak gets devoured.

 

Annyeong! It’s been a while since the last time I’ve wrote here. I’ve been busy with works and stuffs. But I haven’t share about my working experiences yet. So here I go. From the first day, well, it wasn’t hard but it wasn’t easy either. There’s this women who works there as well and she told me a lot about our bosses who apparently are stingy, greedy and cunning. So I went home with a thought of how bad my bosses are (they’re husband and wife).

After a few months passed, I thought, ahhh my bosses aren’t that bad, that women always talks behind peoples' back; she even talked about me and the others. It was hurtful at first but I got used to it. She’s in her 40s by the way. So what I’ve learnt is that the older you get, actually, you got worse (?).

So why did I quit? So here’s the story. My bosses are bad! Since they have their own brand; they made their own clothes and the tailors are just youngster; they’re the same age as me. They’ve signed a contract saying that in June, their basic salary would be RM1000 but for their June salary, they just got RM500 as their basic salary and when they asked the boss about this, she said that they got the contract wrong (she didn’t give any copies to them). So they decided to just quit but the boss threaten to sue them and everything but I said just quit, they can’t sue a minor, I mean, aren’t you ashamed of yourselves for suing young kids? I'm really pissed off, I don't want to live in such life.

I took a day off few days ago as I need to settle some things. The boss sent a message on our group chatroom saying that an employer shouldn’t just take a day off freely as they wish and bla bla bla so I thought I should just quit since I couldn’t give full commitment. All in all, it's just that we're like a slave to our bosses; they can just do whatever they want without even considering others. It was a really long story actually but I just cut it off. This is already too long >.<

Tho someday your name might become strange

...my heart will always remember our memories together.

That cherished moment when everyone was online at the same time. The six of us, even we’re far apart, there is one thing that kept us strong together; ourselves. Exactly at 22:06, all of us send our text simultaneously. Thou it was just a simple “hahaha” written, we were also laughing while typing it. We were sincere; we were having fun; we were happy. That is how much we’re important to each other; we made each other smile even for the smallest thing.

The friends at my side are just like stars which shine on me who’s in darkness. I will also be the star who will shine on someone; forever there.

Present. In English, it has two meanings: a gift, and also the current moment. It may be that the most precious gift to us is the present, the time in front of us now. True, we may always be bickering with each other, but we leaned on each other and were happy together.

Help me, I'm Trapped.

 

Have you ever had this feeling; it was like you fell for someone for some time but then you want to forget that person so you let yourself fell for someone else but when you did, you suddenly fell for the first person again (okay this sound so Keling) but I don’t really know how to explain it. I don’t even know what this feeling is; do I like that person? Do I adore that person? Am I falling in love? Seriously, I never really understand my own feeling. Even if you ask me; why do you like Infinite so much? There are lots of answers I can think of; they’re handsome, their voices are awesome, they way they treat their fans, their hardship, their humbleness, their dumbness, their fashion sense, their attitude; everything about them I like, but the most perfect answer for that question is ‘I don’t know’.

It just happened; I just happen to like that person without even knowing why. People said it’s impossible to like someone when you barely know that person. Yeah, it’s true. So that’s why I don’t know the reason for liking that person; I don’t even know whether I really like that person or not.

When your heart doesn’t tell you the truth, the pain will tell you the answer.

 

Because I Miss You Again.

Just spending and wasting some time with them before we went to our own path T_T it's hard to believe that Asasi is done. So here we are, the Kelings; to conquer the world~!

 

It was quite scary at first since it was raining and the wiper doesn't wipe well (?) but thanks to the awesome driver that we manage to come home safely kekeke. Thanks adam~!

 

Selfie is a must! kekeke

 At the bowling alley. Great game kekeke, seriously, Adam was awesome! Turkey~ ahhh and Nadia was awesome too HAHA (sarcastically)

 

 Aimang struggling to fit in the picture HAHA.

 

 The horse smelled like Aimang HAHA. Thou there are still so many things I want to do with you guys, but still, this was one of the best moment. Time went by so fast T_T

 

Ehem? so sweet HAHA

 

They are the best people and we fell in love with the horse! From  Pahang to Terengganu to Perlis to Johor to Kelantan to Selangor . Even the distance may keep us apart, but we can always be together bacause we are The Kelings! There are strings that are never meant to be broken and that is friendship ^^

 

Thou it was just simple; with KFC and bowling but being with you guys made it special. Thank you for coming into my life and bringing the joy:)

 

I'm just too sleepy to write more

Let me hear your breath.

 

It’s been a while, where are you? I tried holding on to you, reaching you but you seemed to have forgotten me. I was scrolling my blog; reading the older posts and found that I wrote quite a lot about you.  I smiled; because of our cherished memories back then but it disappeared; you disappeared. Is this the end? Then, can I remove you picture from this blog? Will you be hurt? Will you notice it? Will you be sad like the last time I did remove your picture? Will you comeback if I delete it? Will you come back if I start forgetting you? Will you be reading this post? Do you still read my blog? Do you still remember my blog? Do you still remember me? Please answer me. Please let me at least hear your breath.

Please come and never go.

 Have you ever feel like there’s something in your heart; just looking for a way to come out? I don’t know what is this feeling; but it hurts; a lot. Maybe, just maybe, I was enjoying the present to much that I forgot, it won’t last forever. People said that loneliness hurts; but little did they know that what hurts is actually happiness. We were too happy that when it’s gone; it feels empty. Sometimes, we were too happy to realize someone is hurting.

Promise me you won’t leave me, promise me we’ll still like this forever, promise me to keep this promise; we often neglect the reality that we only hear what we want to hear. The further we go, the more hurtful it became.

Your drama has a long way to go before it’s over. So don’t force yourself to go quickly. If you go slowly, you can see a lot more, in more detail, than the people who go quickly. If you ask me who would grow more between those two, I’d say it’s the one who goes slowly and sees a lot.

Do you know what it means to become an adult? It means there’s less and less to smile about. So we’ll have to smile even more, even if we have to force it.

They say that there are two types of happiness. One is a happiness that you realize after the fact and the other is a happiness you feel in the moment. That happiness you feel in the moment is so precious that they say that the memories of this kind of happiness can stay with you and enlighten your life. Maybe we’ll go on remembering this moment today, like that kind of happiness… that we can remember for the rest of our lives, the moment when we shined.

I was holding on to my trembling heart.

I wonder what this feeling is; regretful? Over excited? Scared? To be honest, I never really understand my own feelings. But when I’m happy, I never faked it. But at the same time, when I’m happy, I stop thinking. It was like, everything just came out and I didn’t even realize what I was doing. When I got my brain straight, just then I realize; what was I doing? It’s shameful; to the point that sometimes I want to stop seeing people but no matter how hard I try, things never change. I wonder; is it me who doesn’t want to change or I never really learn from mistakes?

The reason my teen years are like a rushing wind is because I don’t yet know the answers; what it is I really want, who really loves me, who is it that I love. The time of life is when I tumble here and there, searching for the answers.

There are times when everyone wants to die. Even if you wanted to die, the fact that you endured it was great.

Don’t compete with your past but rather expect great things from your future and love your present self.


-REPLY 1997 END-