Lately, I noticed that you weren’t
as hyped as you were before. Is something bothering you? You seemed like you're not in
the mood. There’s so many things I wanted to talk to you about, there’s so many
stories I wanted to share with you, there’s so many questions I wanted to ask to
you, but there’s so little time for us. So every seconds I’m with you felt so
precious. I really like spending time with you. You seemed so discouraged
lately (well, for the past few days). I really wanted to say this to you, find
a reason to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Don’t think too much and just
let yourself free. Just like how I found my reason to be happy. You became my
reason. But little did I know, you didn’t just became the reason of my
happiness, you also became the reason of my sadness, angriness, loneliness, just
simply every emotions I’m feeling lately are because of you.
Yesterday, you wasn’t in your
best mood. Tbh, I wasn’t either. I was very excited that we got the same shift
and looked forward to going to work and going home with you. But then I got to
know someone changed their shift with you. You have no idea how mad I was
yesterday, I was so mad that I didn’t even talk to you. Until it was in the
afternoon when we were working together, I noticed you were in such a bad mood.
So I started talking randomly to you first. But at some point, you became quite
grumpy. Honestly, I was quite sad. But then, I don’t have the right to be mad
at you, or getting sad. We’re not in any kind of relationship. So I decided to
have lunch with you. Then we started talking about serious matters. You were
tired and hungry, that’s why you got a bit grumpy. That’s what you said. So I told
you that it was kind of obvious and you just laugh it out. Seeing you laugh
like that, made me happy. And all the emotions I had that morning disappeared. It
became a good memory just because you smiled. You know, I have the ability to
erase the bad memories when something good happened. I know, I might get hurt
again, but can you smile at me if that happens? Because you are my reason. At least
for now.
Today you wasn’t in your best
mood either. But I got a bit better. I started to work silently, alone. I’m
preparing myself for the next five days that I won’t be seeing you because of
your sudden night shift (which made me mad initially but what can I do about it
anyway). We didn’t get to spend much time together today but even just seeing
you made my day. At least you talked to me even when you seemed like you don’t want
to talk to anyone. You started to open yourself a bit to me and I’m thankful
for that. You know, you can trust me. You can trust my feelings for you. And you
should really trust yourself, because I trust you. I know this could be a bit
selfish, but I wish you’d miss me. Just like how I miss you.
As for now, I'll wait for you, for as long as I can.
