Just because others are slightly different
from you, does it make them not normal? If that the case, then everybody is not
normal. People are different. Just like how their eyes, nose, lips are
different, their mental also differs. That’s why not all people can understand
you. If you give different choices to different people, the one they’d choose
might be different. Trauma; does everyone have it? Or it is just simply a fear?
Doesn’t fear come out of trauma? I’m not really sure what fear do I have, but I’m
afraid of almost everything. When I’m driving, weird thoughts came to my mind;
things like accidents and bloods; but I just keep driving despite how scared I was.
But I don’t think I have any traumatic experience. And I think I have a fear of
crowd (?); I can’t stand when strangers are staring at me; it gave me an
extreme nervousness. It’s hard for me to present in front of crowd or talk;
my mind went blank and I can’t think of anything at that moment. Everything that
I had planned just disappeared. I can’t even remember what I said. Are these
disorders? Am I not normal? I used to be brave; or at least I pretended to. Did I lose all my strength? I used to be okay getting injected or poked
but lately, I’m scared of it. But no matter how hard it is, just control your mind; don’t let the
mind control you.
Today, Ahn Sojin just passed away. She jumped
from the tenth floor. Maybe she taught her burden was too hard for her to
handle. Depression; that’s some sort of mental illness too. When you taught it’s
too hard, you just want to end it, right? But don’t you think you should give
another try? In anything, just keep going, no matter how hard, just do it. You
wouldn’t know whether you can handle it or not unless you try. So just keep
giving yourself another try. I know, saying is easier than doing it; but nobody
else can help if you don’t want to help yourself.
