I Miss You Even Worse

So few days ago, I dreamt about him. Wait, who is him? Is it the person I always talked and wrote about? Luckily, no it’s not him, yeay HAHA. I rarely dreamt about that person now. It was Kim Myungsoo! Yessss L of Infinite. He’s not technically my ultimate bias in Infinite and not because I hate him or what but simply because I don’t want him to be one. It seems so typical, people knew about Infinite because of L and like L and claimed to be an Inspirit just because  L is handsome and L and L and everything is about L so yeah I hate that. I don’t want to be one of them but I couldn’t stop myself from loving him. No, I’m not in love with L but Myungsoo. A naïve and a bit dumb and a math genius and anime lover and learn about love through anime and a bit blur sometimes and somehow awkward with stranger and health-food lover; that kind of person and he is Kim Myungsoo. Last time when I watched ‘My Lovely Girl’; when he dyed his hair back to dark colour; suddenly, my heart beat so fast. When he smiled with both eyes closed; showing his dimple, it made me nervous. And I went to sleep with the thought of him and he came into my dream and I was happy how I wish it will come true but I hate this virtual life of mine T.T

 "And I realized that a happy dream makes me feel even more miserable when I wake up." - Do Minjun

 

 

Watch me forget you.

 Why do I want to write so badly? But I have no idea what to write on. Back in 2010, (wow it has been four years O.O) I had so many things to write about. Things were so much fun and even the simplest thing could make me smile. Well, it wasn’t because of the things back then but a person back then. Reading back my posts, how I wish today would be the same. But slowly, everything disappeared. But it is okay, I’m used to it. Wait, I said this too often, maybe the truth is that I’m not okay? I’m still not used to it? People said that friendship that lasts more than seven years would last forever, but guess that doesn’t apply to all. Time will keep going and people changed. Why am I sounded so depressed? Ahh I watched too much dramas. Yeah, I’m living a virtual life again. But I think I’ll slowly get over this. If back in those days, I missed that person everyday and then I kept missing and it slowly went away and now I’m okay without even thinking of it. So yeah, let’s watch drama~!

Dream a sweet Dream :)

Annyeong~! So, kpop talks again kekeke. Lately, I’ve been listening to Winner’s songs a lot. At first I kept replaying ‘Empty’ as it was really addictive. And then I’m crazy over ‘Don’t flirt’ and the dance! I mean, it’s so cute. I’m falling for Nam Taehyun! And their butt dance kekeke their expressions were sooooo cute I’m dying right now! And Taehyun’s solo ‘Confession’ is addictive as well I’m melting T.T So, that’s enough with Winner. I’ve just ordered their album btw. And now I’m falling for LOVELYZ! It’s been a while since I got crazy over girl group. Oh wait, I’m an apink fangirl kekeke. I thought of buying apink’s album at first. I really like most of their song in Secret Garden and Pink Blossom, and Afiqah bought them so I want them too! But I was saving my money so goodbye apink. But still, i enjoyed their songs.  And now, I’m a LOVELYZ fangirl! I liked JIN’s ‘Gone’ since the first time I heard it. I’ve watched She’s A Flirt MV before but couldn’t remember well so I rewatched it and deeply falling in love with the song and the mv and Baby Soul! It would be great if Yoo Jiah debuted with them, she’s pretty and her voice is nice too. And they just released their MV of Goodnight Like Yesterday and I couldn’t stop myself from listening to it, it was sooo addictive! I’m going crazy right now. Ryo Sujeong is so pretty maybe she could become my bias? But I like Baby Soul and JIN and Kei and here I am with biases dilemma *pfft typical kpop fans problem*. Okay that’s all for today kekeke I might become more excited if I keep on writing so bye bye~~!

It’s the same story

 

Annyeong! So, yesterday was awesome! I've been lazy to go out; even outside of my chamber (a warm place; which is the closet in my hotel room) since i was too obsessed over WGM and the wifi. But since my parents had something to do the other day before, I had to ask someone to accompany me. So I called Shafiqah. I thought it might be awkward since we haven't seen each other for quite a while but it wasn’t at all! We kept talking and yeah time went by just like that. And we watched Divergent! (through the laptop but yeah it was fun). And the next day, amal came. She drove manual car! I mean, that was so cool. And we just walked around U Mall and Jusco Taman U. Yeah I kindda miss those places. So we just talking, joking and fooling around. All in all, it was a fun day. Thank you guys, for letting me leave Johor with some memories at least kekeke :)

Stop playing and grab my stars.

Annyeonghaseyo :) kekeke I miss writing so much. So here I am, on a week holiday, spending my time travelling with my family. Well, not really travelling thou; just spending some times at hotel. It’s been a while since we went to any hotel. When we were still in Johor, we came to KL a lot and spent a night or two. The best thing about living (?) in the hotel room is the wifi! So yeah I spent my two days at Berjaya Times Square hotel staring at my phone screen.

Expectation       : Downloading Infinite’s related show that I haven’t watch then reading Anatomy book and studying while waiting for it.

Reality                  : Curling in the blanket with temperature of 15°C while watching We Got Married and fangirling over them.

OMO I love JjongAh (Hong Jonghyun + Yura) couple so much! Jonghyun is my ideal type! He’s so shy and awkward and cute and I love him. Is it okay for me to love someone’s husband? Kekeke. And then I found SoRim (Soeun + Song Jaerim) couple and I love him! I love Jaerim, he’s so talkative and attractive and aggressive. I mean, can I marry him? But then I realized; ahhh I like them all. My ideal type wasn’t Jonghyun or Jaerim but Korean namja kekeke. As long as you’re Korean and you’re a guy I can simply fall in love >.<

Memories have no power.

Have you ever feel like you want to forget something or turn back the time? Sure all of us have regrets in our life, right? But what if you can choose; what will it be between having all the bad memories to be gone with the best memories or keeping both? Having to remember the hard time sure is torturing but isn’t forgetting the happiness hurts more? What will change if we can erase them all? Will our future be any different? And if it will, then will it be better? It wasn’t the memories and the past that will lead you to a better future but the present. Regretful past made us forget our best time, so instead, remember only the cherish time so the dark memories will slowly disappear.
Just because you have the memories and the past, it doesn’t mean that you can still have what is used to be yours; it only means that you have to move on.

-DREAM HIGH 2 END-

Your birthday comes only once a year.

Hey you! This post is especially dedicated for the sweetest, clumsiest, cutest, and joyah-est girl on Earth! Dear Nadia Syamin, thank you for being born. It was about a week after we were enrolled in UiTM Puncak Alam. You were late and a friend of yours reserved a seat for you. I sat on the empty seat beside. When you came, the class almost started (typical Nadia since the beginning, pfft.) And then you asked me out of nowhere to accompany you to the office due to some email issues. Starting from that moment, we became closer and I don’t remember what happen until then. I can’t remember what we did until we became this close.

All I want to say is that thank you again for approaching me that day. My life has become brighter there since I met you. Because of you, we got closer to Asyafiqa and Jijiel as well since you were the one suggesting forming a group with the four of us during Biology Lab. Because of you, Aimang asked all four of us to teach him Mathematics (but Jijiel was the one doing all the teaching) and brought Adae along. Because of you, KELING was formed. Because of you, we were happy until our last day and even until now, we were still together; the six of us.

I used to wait for you before going to class (even when I thought it will take forever pfft) and scolding on how late you were on our way but somehow, I miss those moments. It might be hard to find someone like you again. Yeah, I kindda miss you. This post has been too long already. All in all, I miss you and Saranghae! Until we meet again. Stay happy and wake up early okay! Take care :) 

I knew this feeling.

 

It’s weird thou, I thought I’ve lost my interest towards Nam Woohyun; I thought I really am falling for Song Samdong, but then Kim Joowon appeared and I couldn’t stop thinking of him; and now, Shin Woohyun! I was watching Hi School Love On and I’m falling in love again T_T I don’t know for how many times I’ve been falling and I don’t even know what’s real and what am I playing with my mind. Frankly, I’m afraid if I ever turn my back on Infinite; I’m afraid if I move on; I’m afraid if I’m no longer an Inspirit. But today, my heart was beating again; just like the first time I fell in love with Infinite; it was beating so fast and that moment, I knew, that I still love you; as much as I did when I first saw you.

They said that love might change, well, I did waver for a moment, but I won’t change. So, please keep appearing in front of me so I’ll stay.

This love that came like the wind.

SECRET GARDEN. DREAM HIGH. THAT WINTER THE WIND BLOWS. COFFEE PRINCE. MY LOVE FROM THE STAR. THE INNOCENT MAN. DOCTOR STRANGER. TROT LOVERS. DREAM HIGH 2. YOU ARE SURROUNDED.

 

10 Dramas for a month I think; since I quit my job. So yeah, 10 awesome dramas and I'm happy. If Kim Myungsoo learnt about love through manga, then I learnt through dramas >.<

Kim Joo Won; who dumbly throw everything even his life just so that the person can live in his body instead (It’s selfish but Hyunbin is really cute tbh)

Song Sam Dong; who didn’t give up until the end even after losing his hearing and keep chasing his dream (Kim Soohyun is the cutest when talking in Satoori)

Oh Soo; who pretended to be the fake brother for money but then fell in love with his fake sister and found his reason to live (the way Jo Insung walks; i mean, like a model)

Choi Han Kyung; who didn’t even care whether she’s a man or an alien and want to go as far as he could (how can Gong Yoo looks so cute when he smiles? I mean, he’s already too old)

Do Min Jun; who didn’t go to the star and choose to stay on Earth even he’s been waiting for 400 years to go back (Yah Kim Soohyun! You’re really a handsome alien)

Kang Maru; who took the blame for what he didn’t do and discover that it wasn’t love but a foolish act (I never knew Song Joongki was this cute)

Park Hoon;who grew up killing people but ended up being the most thoughtful doctor because doctor save people (Lee Jongsuk was my first actor bias actually)

Jang Junhyeon; who fell to the rock bottom and finally got up and chose to disappear for a moment (I can’t remember his real name thou; Jin Hyunwoo)

Jin Yujin; who chose the right thing that he wanted to do with his life and not being a training dog (Jung Jinwoon’s voice is something, really)

Eun Dae Goo; who once wanted revenge and finally found the truth and pretending to kill himself in order to kill the murder (It was the first time I noticed how cute Lee Seunggi is)

So, I’ve spent my whole holiday with these dramas; finishing them within two days and longing for a while before starting a new one.  The best one out of these dramas is ofc the first one I wrote about, because I’m still in love with Kim Joo won; SECRET GARDEN.

 

No matter what happens, trust me and don’t stop.

 

Hi. It’s been a while and I miss writing a lot! There are so many things I want to write about but I haven’t had much time lately. So, I’ve just finished reading this Fixi, ‘Awan’. First of all, I would like to thank Syafiq Aizat for his awesome writing. The messages were very deep and I cried! So congratulations for making this girl cry while reading your piece. It was superb and it hurts a lot because I was jealous of the friendship. When I close my eyes, I just realized that I don’t really have vivid memories of friendship while in school; like the only person that you just want to share everything until forever. But I’m happy enough with the memories I have and I’m trying to be a better person. For some reason, or no reason at all, I have been really selfish and I didn’t treasure the true meaning of friendship. It might be late to realize because school days were the best days of our life; they day we knew the meaning of friendship but I missed that. But it’s never too late for anything; right? Without darkness, you can’t see the stars.

Thank you, Syafiq Aizat, for lending me these two awesome guys; Izaq and Fa’iq :)